Real- James Wesley

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  • Songwriters: Neal Lee Coty, Jimmy Melton

Five-hundred channels and there ain’t much on tonight
Except reality shows about some folk’s so-called lives
A pretty girl cries ’cause she don’t get a rose
But she’ll find love next year on her own show

And they call that real

Real is a hand you hold fifty-seven years
Real is a band of gold tremblin’ with fear
It’s the first long tear down an old man’s face, watchin’ his angel slippin’ away
His heart’s so broke, it’s never gonna heal

I call that real

Where I live, housewives don’t act like that
And the survivors are farmers in John Deere hats
Our amazin’ race is beatin’ the check
Prayin’ that the bank ain’t ran it through yet

Real, like too much rain fallin’ from the sky
Real, like the drought that came around here last July
It’s the damn boll weevils and the market and the weeds, the prayer they’re sayin’ when they plant the seeds
And the chance they take to bring us our next meal

I call that real

Real, like a job you lose ’cause it moves to Mexico
Like a mama and a baby with no safe place to go
Like a little dream-house with a big old foreclosed sign
Like a flag-draped coffin and a twenty-one gun goodbye

I call that real
Man, I call that real
Oh, I call that real

Cowboy Wisdom

  1. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence.
  2. Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.
  3. When a cowboy’s too old to set a bad example, he hands out good advice.
  4. Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
  5. Don’t squat with your spurs on.
  6. A decent cowboy does not take what belongs to someone else and if he does he deserves to be strung up and left for the flies and coyotes.
  7. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
  8. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
  9. Conflict follows wrongdoing as surely as flies follow the herd.
  10. If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
  11. Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
  12. If you’re riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.
  13. Broke is what happens when a cowboy lets his yearnin’s get ahead of his earnin’s.
  14. Worry is like a rockin’ horse. It’s something to do that don’t get you nowhere.
  15. Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.
  16. Keep skunks, lawyers, and bankers at a distance.
  17. Don’t corner something meaner than you.
  18. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
  19. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance
  20. Don’t worry about bitin’ off more’n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger’n you think.
  21. Only a fool argues with skunk, a mule, or a cook.
  22. There’s two theories to arguin’ with a woman. Neither one works.
  23. Speak your mind, but ride a fast horse.
  24. There never was a horse that couldn’t be rode, there never was a rider that couldn’t be throwed.
  25. An old timer is a man who’s had a lot of interesting experiences — some of them true.
  26. Never drink unless you’re alone or with somebody.
  27. A full house divided don’t win no pots.
  28. No one but cattle know why they stampede and the ain’t talking.
  29. An angry bull is less dangerous than an angry woman.
  30. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Skinny vs. Curvy

It amazes me that women seem to believe that looking like 12-year-old boys is sexy.  If you look at women’s magazines the models are far too skinny, and frankly, that isn’t sexy.  I’m not sure where the disconnect came between what women think looks sexy and what men thinks looks sexy, but it is truly sad the lengths some women go to meet an ideal that is anything but.  Have you women ever looked at a men’s magazine?  Victoria’s Secret was far more appealing when Laetitia Casta was gracing their pages.  Miranda Lambert is far sexier than Leann Rimes, and so it is!  Curves are good.  Healthy is good.  I have added a few photos to illustrate my point.