Cowboy Wisdom

  1. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence.
  2. Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.
  3. When a cowboy’s too old to set a bad example, he hands out good advice.
  4. Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
  5. Don’t squat with your spurs on.
  6. A decent cowboy does not take what belongs to someone else and if he does he deserves to be strung up and left for the flies and coyotes.
  7. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
  8. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
  9. Conflict follows wrongdoing as surely as flies follow the herd.
  10. If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
  11. Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
  12. If you’re riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make┬ásure it’s still there.
  13. Broke is what happens when a cowboy lets his yearnin’s get ahead of his earnin’s.
  14. Worry is like a rockin’ horse. It’s something to do that don’t get you nowhere.
  15. Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.
  16. Keep skunks, lawyers, and bankers at a distance.
  17. Don’t corner something meaner than you.
  18. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
  19. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance
  20. Don’t worry about bitin’ off more’n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger’n you think.
  21. Only a fool argues with skunk, a mule, or a cook.
  22. There’s two theories to arguin’ with a woman. Neither one works.
  23. Speak your mind, but ride a fast horse.
  24. There never was a horse that couldn’t be rode, there never was a rider that couldn’t be throwed.
  25. An old timer is a man who’s had a lot of interesting experiences — some of them true.
  26. Never drink unless you’re alone or with somebody.
  27. A full house divided don’t win no pots.
  28. No one but cattle know why they stampede and the ain’t talking.
  29. An angry bull is less dangerous than an angry woman.
  30. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.