Texas-isms

boots and hat

God Bless Texas!

 

1. A possum (or an armadillo) is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas.

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas.

4. If it grows, it’ll stick ya. If it crawls, it’ll bite’cha.

5. ‘Onced’ and ‘Twiced’ are words.

6. It is not a shopping cart, it’s a buggy.

7. ‘Jaw-P?’ means, ‘Did y’all go to the bathroom?

8. People actually grow and eat okra.

9. ‘Fixinto’ is one word.

10. There is no such thing as ‘lunch.’ There is only dinner and then there is supper.

11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you’re two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.

12. Backwards and forwards means, ‘I know everything about you.’

13. The word’jeet’ is actually a phrase meaning, ‘Did you eat?’

14. You don’t have to wear a watch, because it doesn’t matter what time it is. You work until you’re done or it’s too dark to see.

15. You don’t PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.

16. ‘No.Jew?’ is a common response to the question, ‘Did you bring any beer?’

17. You measure distance in minutes.

18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

20. You know what a ‘DAWG’ is.

21. You carry jumper cables in your car — for your OWN car.

22. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.

23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football.

24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit ‘a bit warm.’

26. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

27. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as’goin’ Wal-Martin’ or ‘off to Wally World.’

28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good stew weather.

29. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

30. We don’t need no dang driver’s ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag- nabbit.

31. “All y’all” is more than one person.

 

 

 

Christmas!

The message of Christ is rightfully embedded in the songs of Christmas, the message of the Gospel in the power of lyric and notes, proclaiming the magic and majesty of what was done for us.  Thank you Jesus!  Enjoy this version of O Holy Night by Martina McBride, and the blessings of Christ the Lord be with you all this Christmas as we wait in joyful anticipation for His Glorious Return!

 

Opinions are like….

Well, y’all know that one, but in line with the Arizona cyber bully bill, it is my humble opinion that kids should not be on the internet.  I’m not looking for a law to ban them, or to throw parents in jail because their kid has surfed the web, but there really is no reason for a kid to be on the internet.  There are issues, but rather than take the heavy hand of government and asking them to pull their guns, I’d rather see it discouraged by parents and teachers alike.

Yes, I know, our schools have pushed the internet on our kids, and expect them to consult the ‘net to do research for their papers.  Why they felt that the ‘net was a better source of information than the Encyclopedia Brittanica is beyond me.  The fact is people can post anything on the ‘net and kids are not likely to have the wherewithal to separate fact from fiction.  Sure, there is plenty of fiction in the textbooks, but it seems that there was tremendous value in those skills that they taught us.  To be able to go into a library and find the information you’re looking for is something I think everyone should know.  They might actually want to find facts someday, especially if Congress moves forward on control of the net.  If you have the want, you can find some great stuff in older books.

So our schools teach our kids to use the internet, which means that children are seeing sex acts that I never even conceived of even at the height of puberty.  This is a far cry from sneaking a peek at a Playboy behind the barn.  It is an unfortunate fact that porn is on the ‘net.  Even here, on this blog, my top search draw is Miranda Lambert Bikini (I don’t have that pic, sorry).  I have no wish to see it banned, but again, I’m not interested in taking six-year olds or sixteen-year olds to strip clubs.  The library likely has a copy of Canterbury Tales, but the sickness that has become readily accessible was quite removed from my youth.  That’s where it should be.

We use to play outside and use imagination to come up with games and things to do. We would stay out until our parents called us home, and only then would we go home.  Sitting in front of a computer or PS3 all day pollutes the mind and weakens the body.  They’re not getting educated, and they’re sure not learning social skills.  Kids use to talk, not text, and meet face to face, not on Facebook.  And what is Facebook really?  Sure it is nice to be able to connect with family and friends, but so much of it is fluff and needless drama.  Does a kid need that?

Our kids are at risk.  As our nation has declared mainstream religion evil, tossed out the Ten Commandments, the Golden Rule, Christmas, Easter, and God, all while cramming sexual deviance and homosexuality down our throats, our children are at greater risk.  I’m sorry, but my kids have no need to learn about homosexuality in kindergarten, no matter what the state of California says.  I fail to see where all this tearing down and exposing the most innocent of our society to evil while sheltering them from good has made us a better people.  The innocence of youth is a good thing, and we should not be throwing it away.  The chances that someone will be seeking out our children online to abuse or even kill is very high.

So why do we pursue this?  Why can’t we recognize that the internet is not the place for children?  It is not safe.  It is a good source of information if and only if you have the wisdom to discern.  In no way should it replace books or the ability to use the ol’ Dewey Decimal System to find a wealth of information that actually had to pass a publishers screening and willingness to be liable for its content.

Big Brother is big enough.  Leave the ‘net alone, and stop encouraging kids to play where they’re likely to get hurt.  There is no real benefit in encouraging children to be on the internet or shutting it down so they might be safe.

Just my opinion…