Goodbye

I found out yesterday that my best friend, my brother whom I have known for 30 years, has gone home to the embrace of the Lord.  He had been fighting cancer, and had recently lost a lung.  The last time I had talked to him he sounded horrible, but I didn’t expect his battle was nearly spent.  He was heavily medicated, and exhausted, but nothing unusual coming out of a major surgery like that.  He seemed to be recovering, and all indications were that he would be ok.

Although I wish I had known so that I could prepare on some small level to say goodbye, I know that he knew how much I loved him, and how much his friendship ment to me.  In younger days, we were constant companions, and while life leads to other obligations, he was always there.  No matter how crazy things got in either of our lives, we always had each other’s back.  Maybe because of where we were at when we met, or because of a recognition of a kindred spirit, the twists and turns in life never changed that.  We weren’t afraid to disagree, or even fight sometimes, but I’d walk through hell for my brother.

I could easily write a book on our experiences.  They all flood back as I reflect on our friendship, and the loss I feel.  It’s all very raw right now.  Funny how even out here on the road, pressed for money and under loads, everything fell into place to allow me time to stop and grieve.  I’m reminded that God didn’t create us to die, and that His comfort will carry me as I again say goodbye to another part of my life.  Rascal Flatts, in the video “Here Comes Goodbye”, have a scene where the man turns to his son and asks, “What’s it like?”, and the son says, “There’s no more goodbyes.”

Until that happens, life is filled with goodbyes, and they never get easy.

Goodbye brother!  I miss you so much!